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Any moms out there with children with FM?
23 Replies
Canada17 - March 2

AmandaEffy, you sure are in a difficult place. The way your mom treats you is unfortunate. It is nice though that your dad is understanding and there for you when you need him.

It is extremely difficult for people to understand Fibromyalgia. Heck, it's hard for me to understand it sometimes and I have lived with it everyday of my life.

Try to remember that your mom wants the best for you. She probably doesn't even realize how her treatment of you affects you and that it makes you feel worse. You need to talk to her.

Perhaps you could consider speaking with a counselor who specializes in chronic illnesses. Maybe broach the subject with your father first, as he seems more amicable, and have him there when you try to discuss it with your mom.

Having an open and honest dialogue with your parents about what your limitations are and what you need from them with only make your relationship stronger. Take it from me, hoping that things will work themselves out will only cause resentment.

 

AmandaEffy - March 2

Canada17, The frustrating thing is I've had that conversation with her numerous times and she seems to have this mental block against it I don't really understand why. I hoping this new decade will see us understanding eachother. FM is so hard to explain, in the end people start to think you're making up symptoms because there are so many which seem to have no connection.

 

Canada17 - March 3

AmandaEffy, that is frustrating.

If I can give you a page from my book it's to just give her the least that you can. Don't spend the energy on her, it is too depleting to you. That doesn't mean you have to be mean or spiteful, just don't volunteer information.

My father is very hard on me, he always has been. He says that it is because he expects more from me than either of my sisters, but nothing I do is ever good enough. He always finds fault in something. If the execution was perfect, the result failed. If I got it right, I didn't do it the way he thought I should have. At the end of the day I had to make a choice. I could either allow him to have that control over me, to make me feel like I wasn't doing enough, or I could just accept that no matter what nothing would be enough and live my life for me.

I chose to live for me. At least if I am doing what I think is right, I am being honest with myself, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I wish I could give you a hug, you sound like you need some good vibes. Just remember that you are important.

It seems to me that your mom might be projecting on you. What I mean is that maybe she has some health issues that she hasn't dealt with and have made her unhappy. Maybe she thinks that you should just get up and get going because that is what she did. You aren't her though and maybe with your dad's help maybe she can accept that. But, you may have to accept that she will never change.

 

AmandaEffy - March 4

Canada17, I am usually very very very positive and I'm getting back to it now, people are usually surprised at how positive I am most of the time. Yeah only my Dad and Sister truly understand as much as they could. The rest are like 'Yeah my arm hurts too' but I only tell them I hurt when I'm about to cry so I kind of just need a hug not really a comparison. But thankfully I'm getting better now, i'm gonna go to the movies this weekend if I can and I did some retail therapy online today so I'm pretty good at cheering myself up eventually. Thank you for listening, it really helps! Even though I am totally taking over this persons thread! Love you all, Gentle hugs xxxx

 

Stringfellow - October 4

Hello there Dawn...
I have a daughter that has Fibro, she is 11 as well. It is exhausting caring for her, especially being a single parent. She doesn't get nausea very much, more of her eating problem is that most days she will hardly eat anything at all. And then there are some days that she eats a lot. One thing that does it make it hard on her pain is that when she has growth spirts..they are not small they are times where she can hurt so vry much that she cannot get out of bed for a couple of days at a time. So, I do understand where you are coming from. We just need to be as strong as we can for them and keep up our faith in God to keep us strong.

As for school I have been homeschooling my daughter since she was in third grade and it really is great. We had tried traditional school and the teachers just didn't understand or even wanted to understand what was going on with her.

Jenny

 

Stacey373 - October 5

Hello - this is very interesting to me. I never read any of these posts before, but I've been wondering if my oldest daughter has or will eventually get Fibro. I have had it for years and I know it can be hereditary. My daughter just turned 12. She has severe ADHD and has been taking medication for it for about 3 years. The ADHD meds have literally been a true blessing for us...she has had major symptoms of ADHD since she was 2 years old (not the normal terrible twos problems)

I have noticed that she gets headaches more than normal. She also is very sensitive to clothing (all the tags have to be cut out) and she is very sensitive when you touch her. She just started her period about 4-5 months ago and so far she hasn't had any problems with cramping or the other stuff that goes with it. I actually never had cramps or PMS or anything until about 10 years ago, after I had my 3rd child. Now it's so bad I can't get out of bed for days each month. I hope she doesn't end up with these problems later on in life like me.

I'm definitely going to talk to her doctor about this. I guess the good thing is that I know all the symptoms and if she does end up with this (or it gets worse) I will be able to see it and get her treated alot sooner.

Hmmm....I'm gonna look into this more. I would rather deal with this and get it under control than let her suffer. Thanks for bringing this to my attention....I never realized how common it was for so many of these kids to get this illness.

My advice to all you Moms who are dealing with this....just be patient and understanding. Even with me dealing with this for years...there are times I can't even explain what's hurting or why...I just hurt and it won't go away. This illness can only make your daughters stronger....it's not easy...but they will learn how to deal with it better as they get older. Thankfully you all caught this sooner rather than later...It's alot harder to deal with when you don't know what's going on and the doctors think it's all in your head.

One suggestion I have....if you haven't done this already...try to find a forum that focuses on kids or younger adults that they can get on and talk to other kids their age who understand what they are going through. No matter how much support they have from their families....this is still a very lonely disease and it helps to talk to people who truly understand.

Just a thought...Take Care, Stacey :o)

 

Auvonto - October 8

I have FMS and I think that my 17yr old does too. she gets really bad cramps and complains about hurting and feeling tires alot. I hope and pray that she doesnt have this as I feel horrible on a daily basis and wouldnt wish this on anyone. i hope that you and your family can get through this together and support each other the best way that you can. when your daughter misses all that time from school she can still try to get work in from studing at home and work with the teachers so that she doesnt fall behind. I;ll keep you in my prayers take care

 

Auvonto - October 8

aBeserra, i am so sorry that you are going through this. i know how hard it is. family doesnt understand as much as we would like to but they wouldnt have the faintest idea unless they personally could feel what we feel. i have 5 children (my oldest i think shows signs) and i hate for them to see me like this. i dont want them to think that im crazy or just plain out lazy. i try so hard to do everything so they dont see me being weak but in the mean time hurting myself. they do help me when they see me hurting and at times have turned the tables on me by them being the authority telling me Mama go sit down somewhere we'll do it. but its hard. the best thing that we can do is have them read some of our post and they will see that it isnt just "me" there are people everywhere from all walks of life and ages. i hope this will soon be a better understood illness.

 

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