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Fibromyalgia and Stress
4 Replies
Jocelyn - October 3

Hi January,
It has been a long time since we have talked. I have been so busy at work, it was our year end and I had been straight out, until now.

I have been reading many of the post online and have written when I have had a minute, but not much. It took a lot for me to keep the stress down during this extremely busy time at work. I usually get so stressed that my Fibro goes crazy. This year I did much better, in fact, I am still doing well. I have stayed on my gluten free diet as much as possible. I have learned that some foods with gluten do not bother me and others do. I am working hard keep a record of foods, not to eat. Even though I have cheated, a little, I have managed to keep the pain down real well. I did cheat once and I paid for it dearly. I won't eat that food again! I am working on milk products, they seem to effect my asthma. I have so many things going on, but it works keeping track of everything. I had to separate all my symptoms and work on them one at a time to see what works.

For the first time in almost 10 years, I can sit at my desk and my legs have very little, if no pain at all. I can't remember them not paining me. They used to hurt so much I would be in tears at my desk.

Swimming extensively this summer made a huge difference with my Fibro. It was such a hot summer and the pool was so warm I was able to swim daily. This helped loosen up my hip that has been so tight for years. Although it does still bother me, I can tolerate it so much better.

In addition, you and I talked about my mother's estate. I will update you on what has been going on. I did get the lawyer involved. Things got worse as we both knew it would. My younger brother Scott was mad. My older brother Bruce does support me and my efforts, so that has been good. Scott did not talk to me for awhile, he was very hostile, but has softened a bit, but is not back to the relationship we had before. Let's face it, it will NEVER be like before. He wants his girlfriend to move in and he wants the cats too. I and my brother have told him, the girlfriend is okay, the cats will never happen. Then he decided he wanted to get rid of some of my mother's furniture, he said he was sick of looking at it. This is the same furniture he said he loved! In fact, he didn't want to split the house up before, so my brother and I let him keep things as they were since he is the only one living there. Well, now things just have to go! That is fine with me because I have a place for a lot of it. I LOVE the things my mother had. We both decorated our houses all in the country style. It took her 30 years to get her house the way she wanted it. I have a living room that needs redecorating and now I will have the things I want. So...I told him, no problem, Bruce and I will be happy to take the things off your hands. It seems his girlfriend has her own ideas. Which is fine with me. In fact, he doesn't want any of the Christmas stuff either. I said, GREAT, I will have a ball with that stuff too! So, I am very happy.

The other problem is, he told me he understands about paying the money into the house account, however, he has not been able to pay more than $300.00 a month! He told me to sell the house and he could go live with his girlfriend for basically nothing. So...I told him, go live with her anyway, because I am not selling the house, the market isn't good right now, although, I'm sure where we live we would get our price, but my older brother would like to move back. So....I told Scott I would rent it. That took him off guard. He said, you wouldn't, I said I would! Believe me I would! I have no problem in doing so. My son would rent it, but I wouldn't tell him who was interested. Just let him know that other people are interested in what he has and they can pay! That in itself gave him a reality check. Okay, enough for you to read right now.

I've managed to keep my Fibro under control throughout this whole situation with my brother. I am proud of myself!

Take care,


January - October 6

Hi Jocelyn - been wondering how you were. I've had a lot going on too. Months of not feeling well, very fatigued this summer. I got a flu shot and came down with horrible flu symptoms and high fever. It was short term, but severe! I get a shot every year, and never had a problem before! Nevertheless, I am grateful for flu shots - used to get sick a LOT before they were available. I've heard very bad stories about H1N1, so I'd rather have the shot than actually get the flu and pneumonia!

I'm so glad to hear you are controlling some pain with diet. I keep learning more things about this. I just ran across a video and article about the doctor who wrote the book Wheat Belly - he says most of the wheat in this country comes from the first clumsy attempts at GMO in the 70s. It's "dwarf" wheat - and has gliadin in it - and he says that is what is making people sick. He says gliadin was NOT in wheat before. Hmmmm, in my other reading about celiac, I read that gliadin is the protein in wheat, rye, barley, etc. that aggravates celiac disease. So what this doctor said did not line up with what I've read in medical texts. However, it seems a lot of people have healed themselves of health problems with his diet, which, I believe, only eliminates wheat, not all grains. Too bad we can't post URLs. I will see if there's a way to find the name of the You Tube video for anyone who's interested. There was some great information in there.

I discovered a couple months ago, after avoiding them for most of my life, that I LOVE roasted peppers! So, I binged on roasted peppers; then I had horrible joint pain for a month! Of course, peppers are part of the nightshade family (eggplant, tomato, potato and peppers) and for years, there has been information out saying nightshades cause pain in some of us. I love the other nightshade veggies, and I think I do alright with them -- but for sure, I cannot tolerate peppers. Now I'm thinking I might try cutting out all nightshades and see if I can lose a bit more pain. Every bit that goes away is a blessing! The diet just gets more and more limited though! I've read posts by some people on here who can hardly eat anything with their allergies and sensitivities! Makes me wonder if it truly does boil down to the fairly recent genetic manipulation of food - we just don't get "natural" food any more. And we are the sensitive ones!

Estate and family problems really are such a strain, I know. It's so hurtful to have your family turn on you - especially when you are the one doing all the work! To help them out! So I'm very glad you've been able to set some limits - and glad you'll be getting your mom's furniture and decorations! That's nice. I'm sure some of what your mother considered in leaving you this big house was that you COULD rent it and get a nice cash flow if you needed. It would be crazy to sell in this down market unless you absolutely had to! Inflation will come in again, it always does - and then your house will go up in value again. The banks are paying next to nothing in interest. You could make a lot more money renting your house out than selling it and sticking the cash in the bank! Your mother did some good planning - and picked you to run it for everyone's benefit.

Sounds like your younger brother has not yet grown up yet, has not realized how hard it is to support yourself when other people don't take care of you! I know it must be stressful, but I commend you for doing what's best for the whole family - as your mom intended, I'm sure. Also, it's nice that your other brother has come around to see reason and, hopefully, is supporting you.

I sure hate to see winter come… it involves winterizing. Such a waste of time, year after year! Seasons are lovely to visit, but they are a lot of work to live in! And I'm tired, so will get back to you later. Really nice to hear from you! Sounds like you did well this summer with the exercise too! Good for you!


Jocelyn - October 8

Hi January,

It is so nice to hear from you. I am sorry you have had so much fatigue this summer. I hope that issue will resolve itself and give you a break. I have had a few bought with it during the summer when I was swimming a lot. I had a hard time getting up for work on many days.

You have done dome awesome food research and I am always interested in what you have found out. The wheat issue is very interesting. As far as the night shade vegetables, I have stayed away from them all together because I figured every little bit helps. I do feel that, like you, there are some things one is okay eating, but too much of a good thing is not good. I have been working on pain caused by food since you brought it to my attention when we first met.

The nice thing about this forum is that one meets people like you who are just full of knowledge and from that one can, through, trail and error, figure out what really bothers oneself. The night shade vegetables do cause a problem for me, so I stay away from them for the most part and may have a little once in a great while, and I can get away with it, but it is really a problem if eaten steadily. It is definite that I have a BIG problem with dairy products, including milk, Ice Cream, Cheese, etc. Not only does it bring out asthma in me, eating an ice cream can give me slightly swollen lips. I've only figured this out after staying away from things for a long time and then trying them. I can then feel my reaction happening.

So far, and I don't want to jinks myself, I have had near to none leg pain while sitting during work. This is the first time in 10 years. I can only think it has to do with what I am eating. Although, my weight isn't doing as well as I would like. My leg pain has lessened tremendously. I will continue to work on the wight while the pain is quieter.

My cousin and I got together today and redecorated my house with all the things my brother didn't want. Of course, my husband, did all the hanging up of things. The house looks awesome! My mother had great taste and my room is filled with beautiful things, that I like, and the best part, they came from my mother! It was like discovering a treasure every time my cousin and I looked at things and put them together. My husband was impressed with how awesome these pieces look in our house. He said, well, our gain is your brothers loss.

I had a bad weekend with my brother, again. I am trying to stay away from him, but I do have to remove articles that Scott, the brat doesn't want and then some articles that my older brother wants and he should have. Saturday night Scott was nice. Sunday he called me up because I took something he wanted by mistake because he wasn't clear about things as usual and he hung up on me on the phone, then I went to the house and we got into another fight and he told me I was a crazy F'ing B..... because I didn't talk to him for 3 months. He is so sick it is unreal. My husband doesn't want to deal with him. He is lying to me about his rent money, right in front of his girlfriend, so I told him off right in front of her about the money. If she is stupid enough to believe him then she really is blind. My older brother is till continuing to support me, which has been very helpful. Enough bout stressful problems. I am doing well letting it go and moving on the way I should. However, if after the holiday, he hasn't changed with the rent. I will most likely evict him. He needs to be able to maintain the house according to my mothers will, so if he can't, out he goes!

Best to you!
Take care, and feel better. As always thank you for the infor!



January - October 12

Hi Jocelyn - thanks for your nice message. Just wanted to touch base. I did a lot today and i am exhausted. More stuff tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep. I'm really glad to hear your leg pain has improved, and that you've been able to figure out what foods are problematic for you. It is such a long slow process… but the tests (I hear) are not really reliable. The most reliable thing is tracking how you react! It IS a lot of work, but it pays off in the end and you feel better. I just started taking magnesium threonate (Life Extension says it is the best absorbed). I have been taking it, but I was only taking a small amount. I just read about taking higher doses of magnesium, so I tried it - and I believe it is helping. I was researching treatments for morning depression (which I have pretty badly sometimes, plus nightmares) - and magnesium came up. It is linked with a LOT of health problems, other than depression, things like diabetes. So I inreased the dose to almost 400 mg a day and in 2 days, felt a whole lot better! I'll have to keep tracking it and see how it works.

Thanks for your kind remarks about the food research. I have learned so much reading what other people have written! It's helped me cut down the pain of fibro. The "fibro drugs" made me feel like a zombie and didn't help the pain at all. So I am very happy to share what I have learned, and always glad when it helps someone else. The more I read about the antidepressants, the more I think they are very bad drugs. Dr. Peter Breggin's book Your Drug May Be Your Problem woke me up several years ago, and that was when I quit taking them. I hear he has a new book out with a lot more information about these drugs, and it's not good news.

As for the family stuff… sometimes you have to get tough. I have dumped some people from my family. If someone treats you badly and stresses you out continually (especially when you are trying to do nice things for them) -- well, that sends a message to me loud and clear. They don't care about me. So what's the point in bothering with those people. Of course, some people believe "family, right or wrong." I guess we all have to make up our own minds.

So glad you got the sentimental things from your mom and have put them around your house in a way that makes you happy. Nice to have those good memories. I have to get some rest. Late hope to have more time to catch up on the posts I've missed. Glad you are doing better!!!


Jocelyn - October 15

Hi January,

I'm glad you are going to get some rest. That will help you out a lot. I feel bad when people have depression. I think depression is such a difficult illness to treat. The drugs do a number on you while trying to help you. So far, I have been lucky with the depression. I have felt down when I have been in a lot of pain, but my biggest problem is fatigue and muscle pain. My son has OCD and when he was young he suffered with depression, I felt so bad, there wan't much I could do, but a doctor did help him out and as an adult, he is dong well. He is not on medication for it anymore. He went on meds for about 2 years, and it helped him a lot, then he wanted off of them.

As far as my family, I figure, like you, the heck with them. My brother Scott, accused me of having a lot of money and having everything! I layed into him and said, if I had SOOOOOOOOOOOO much money, why would my husband and I be STILL working! We would have retired! So, he said, well, you will end up with money. I said, my husbands parents are old and still living, close to their 90's. I do NOT depend on them for money, if they need it, they should use it, it is theirs not mine! But....if for any reason, I did get a windfall, I would certainly love to help my brothers, but you are NOT a nice brother nor a nice person! Therefore, I wouldn't give you a dime! He shut up real quick! I thought that so funny! My older brother was standing next to me and raised his hand and said, okay, then I get his share too! So...I said, you sure can have it if I get it! I thought it hilarious! I'm sick and tired of him accusing me of having everything. I don't drink nor smoke, nor socialize in bars and spend my money on things I cannot afford to spend them on. I work and pay my bills and raised two kids on less money per hour than he makes! My husband worked for his family most of his life and got paid low wages, my brother has no idea what it is like to struggle. Well, he is struggling now. After the holiday's we will see if he is paying up what he owes. If not, antoher talk and warning, if not paid up, out he goes! Actually, I told him, in front of his girlfriend that she shouldn't sell her house, because he most likely will end up living there because he can't afford it here!!

Got right to the point! I'm learning.

Stay well. I am exhausted. My daughter and I just had a huge 30th birthday party for my son on Saturday night. I am still so tired from the event. That is the problem with this disease, every little thing wipes you out!

Take care!!



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