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Husband doesn't believe me...
4 Replies
jla1970 - February 20

I should start by saying I don't know for sure if I have Fibromyalgia, because I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I do have the pain and fatigue symptoms as well as others. My problem is that my husband doesn't believe me; he has told me this directly when I asked him. He gets upset if I am sleeping during the day due to fatigue, or if I fall behind on my chores, or if I say I'm in too much pain to come sit at the dinner table during dinner or to do whatever. His not believing that I really do suffer from a great deal of pain and fatigue is very difficult for me to accept, and I don't know what to do or how to relate to him. Help?


13tracy13 - February 20

Your first step is to get a diagnosis, if you can get a Dr to back you up then maybe he will start to believe you. The day of my diagnosis my husband said he didn't believe the Drs, they should have done more test and he thought it was just a title because they really didn't know what was wrong with me. We have fought and argued about housework not getting done, but he finally started coming, not sure why, but it has gotten better. To get proper treatment you need to see a rheumatologist (sorry can't spell) They are the Drs who seem to be the most qualified to diagnosis and treat Fibro.
Good luck, diagnosis can take a while so get started soon.


mummylove - February 20

Hi, jla1970

I so understand, my husband is the same he thinks its just a label, and that I should feel better now I know what it is/could be Im not properly diagnosed but just gp/doctor said it was gave me a print out and that was it!!!
It is very frustrating I totally understand with you. Do you have any other support?
This website has been a great help to me as I dont have any support, my mums ok but she has her own probs so I dont wont to bother her so I have no one. Its really hard, Its taken me awhile to find the right specialists but I belive I found the right one?(seeing next week) we are in a small town so its been hard no one seems to have heard of fibro.
If you can get your husband to go with you to every doctors appontment that would help him perhaps? tho that will be hard as I cant seem to dragmy husband along yet :-/ its really testing our marrige and I know he does not no how much pain im in no one will! except us that have it.
Im having other symptoms so Im not totally sure I have it either but I have all? the fibro symptoms and some more hehehe its really hard work.
you may find venting and talking about your pain/symptoms etc here that helps me get it all off my chest.
Sorry not much help :-(
we will have to find a way to help them understand. not sure myself just yet, but talking about it here helps even just for a bit of stress relief.
takecare :-)


writerchick - February 20

I completely agree with 13tracy13, the first step is to get diagnosed. That won't solve everything but it will help get you started. It took 6 years for me to get diagnosed, during which time my husband became more and more verbally abusive about the changes in my lifestyle. Even when I was unable to move and started passing out from the pain, he said I was faking it. Once the diagnosis was made, it helped me to focus on what was important for my health and his words didn't hurt as much. The support and information here has helped me dramatically as well. Life can still be good with fibro, but you have to take the steps and fight for it!


axxie - February 21

You first need diagnosis, that could take time. For me at first it was MS, at least the MRI and doctor told me I had, the neuro wasn't sure, so she just sent me to all these tests. All but one came back negative so the story was I had fibro. The second neuro and rheumy diagnosed me with fibro and that they where sure I didn't have MS. Hubby came home on day telling me about a mutual friend who was talking about his daughter having fibro and how poor state she was in. When I finally had the final verdict and told my husband that I also had fibro, he had this look that said, "you're making this one up, right". He knows I'm sick but doesn't really understand it. For example, when I refused to do a short trip with him, because I was in pain, he was not very pleasant. Lets just say right now it's not an issue, because he's serving overseas, so he won't be home till late spring. My house is upside down at the moment and I don't care to clean it, I start something but can't finish it. It's the way of life, for us. My doctor has told me to just take one day at a time and not to do too much when I'm feeling good, because I pay for it with being tired and it takes time to come back to my somewhat state of pain, no pain for an hour, to pain to no sleep and the cycle starts over again.
Try to take it easy and vent is the best thing to do at the moment, someday all our husband will come around, I think, I hope.



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