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I need to change my way of thinking
19 Replies
kvc33 - July 29

The drug withdrawal is not getting any better. I've never been so confused. I feel completely different from everyone else. I don't want to live and they do. Even people who are struggling with physical and mental health issues have all kinds of interests and seem to see value in life but I don't. I just find it very painful. I can't remember who I am and when I do have memories they are negative and I don't want to associate myself with them. As I said, this is kind of a blog for me because it's so hard to remember anything. My memory is terrible. My test kit has arrived but I can't do it for about ten days as it has to be done at a certain time of the month. Our friend and helper just up and quit yesterday and gave no reason. He has helped with gardening and jobs around my bf's place. He has a low IQ and mental illness and had to be taught every little thing. My bf has been extremely patient and good to him for the last couple of years and this is the thanks we get. I feel abandoned and that is something I don't need right now. My chiropractor and friend abandoned his patients last December and I was shocked by that as well. I'll never understand people or what motivates them. They can't seem to commit to anything.

 

kvc33 - August 10

I believe I have made a breakthrough. Through changing my mindset I no longer worry about money or getting the approval of others. I am no longer worried about abandonment either. I have sent my test off to the lab and am excited about getting the results. I am working on loving and supporting myself.

 

Agavegirl - August 10

Hi kvc33 - GREAT NEWS and Congratulations to you! I know it is an old expression but you must love yourself first. And most importantly, life is not a popularity contest. Surround yourself with warm and loving people who want the best for you. Everyone else is insignificant and are energy vampires. Focus on you and great things will happen. hugs to you.

 

kvc33 - August 19

My anger has been extreme the last few days due to severe PMS which is known as premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I yell, scream and hit things. (Home alone). I'm so angry I want to kill myself or someone else. (No, I won't). Sometimes I hurt myself by hitting things but I don't care. I don't even feel the pain at the moment of impact. I've taken so much BS in my life that I could rage all day and never go through it all. It gives me energy to I'll rage on.

 

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