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Need help to handle fibromyalgia symptoms
18 Replies
Prati - September 21

Hi, I have been diagnosed with fibromylagia about 2 year back, and have been battling the pains daily . I have no support from my husband who feels that I am just making up my pain to avoid doing any work at home. I am professional with a highly stressful job, and put in daily about 12-14 hr of work. I am undergoing terrible depression due to the pain and also as no one understands my situation. Also I have lost an good oppurtunity in my career due to my depressed behaviour.My husbands forbids me to take any Physiatrist help he does not believe in it. I have gained weight in the last one year, and have no motivation whatsoever to start any exercises. Please advice me as to how to handle this.


Parker - September 8

hi prati, I am so sorry to hear how badly you are being treated byt your husband. I also do not get the support I need from family members, so I understand how you feel. this is of course just my advice but if you are a sucessful woman with your own career you obviously are independent enough to know what is good for you & how to take care of yourself. your husband's hang-ups about getting help for your depression do not have to be your own. I don't advocate lying, but if you have to do it & get the help you need. if you cannot get support from your husband you may have to ask yourself the tough questions like what is your relationship based on? there is no shame in getting help, physically or mentally. this is YOUR LIFE & YOUR BODY... not his. you have to live in it everyday. do what you need to do to make life liveable. if he can't handle that you may want to examine that closely & ask yourself (and him...) why? take care of yourself.


Parker - September 8

one more thing. there has been a lot of postings about the link between the body & mind. the line about your husband FORBIDS you to.... is insane. what are you? his captive, prisoner? being under the kind of stress you are describing can make your symptoms much worse. many people think that fibro is a stress-related illness. do what you need to do to care for yourself. you can find another man, but you only have one YOU :)


Helen - September 8

Prati, there are two ways for you to approach having fibro.

One way is to just treat the sysmptons and there are alot of ways to do this, just read about all the postings here with everyone talking about the pharmacuetical drugs they are taking.

The second way to approach having Fibro is to start to repair your body and all of its internal systems that are off and out of balance. Most people that take this route find that they have alot of yeast in their body, have stressed adrenals, all the symptoms of hypothyroidism, lacking in nutrition, over/under producing lymphatic systems (spleen), lacking enzymes, over acidic body conditions, etc. the list goes on. Unfortunately your medical doctor does'nt understand this level of looking at a body with a holistic approach.

Try to find a holistic healing center where you live. Be open to what they say and always compare what they say to what your medical doctor finds in their tests. There are some medical doctors that are progressive and there are centers for you to get help at around the country. has alot of centers in the US. Dr. Flechas at is also a progressive doctor that can send you testing kits and work with you over the phone. He wrote a book on fibro. Dr. Christine Northup also has a wealth of info on women's health and can be found at You can get better as long as you don't subscribe to the message from the medical community that there is no cure. There is a way to repair and rebuild your body, but you have to be open to it as it is outside of the thinking you were probably brought up with- that medical doctors are the absolute final answer. It is a balance that you can find, if you are open to it.


TERESA - September 8

PLEASE, this is the 21st century!! Your husband forbids you? My answer would be to dump the husband!! I know that a lot of women don't see that as an option, but if you were not under his constant pressure, you might find that a lot of your symptoms would disappear!! Enough preaching, if you are seeing a GP & you explain the situation to him/her they can & probably will prescribe an antidepressant for you.


Virg - September 8

I feel for you because sometime when fm really flares up my guy is clueless. When this
happens I realize I sometimes just need a
sounding board. Counselors help for that also
seeing my doctor and just saying I hurt helps.
If your husband doesn't want you seeing him
why don't you print out some pertinent info
on FM give it to your husband say you need
him to be a sounding board if he doesn't want
you to see someone else. May or may not
at least give him something to think about. But seeing someone is important. It will make
your deciding factor clearer. FM so far doesn't
go away and can get worse. Lifestyles may
have to change.


Betty - September 9

I would quit my job and do as little as possible at home- let your husband bear all the responsilbility for finances, housework, etc. Just do what you need to do to feel better, including massages, exercise, rest and whatever else makes you feel better! You deserve to be healthy, and take it from me, if you are always stressed out and fatigued from all the pressure, you will not get better, you will get WORSE! This is what i did, and I am so much happier and healthier. If your husband gripes, tell him to see a shrink!!!


TERESA - September 9

Please answer back, Prati! What are your thoughs on these posts? Are you even reading them? Does your husband FORBID you to see a regular doctor? Is your household depend on your income? Do you not have an power (say) in your own household? How old are you? Do you have children at home? ETC...ETC...


To Theresa from prati - September 11

Hi Theresa, Thanks for your concern. I am 36years old, married for 13 years, and have 2 kids. My husband also has a successful career. We do have a large extended family (husband's)who are dependent on us. I have so far enjoyed my job as it was giving the self worth, and the challenges used give me a high. All this has changed with fibro. I have my elderly mother who is dependent on me, and I do not transfer her responsibilty to my husband. So quitting the job is not an option open to me.


Parker - September 11

Hi Prati, its good to hear back from you. I understand that you have some serious financial responsibilities, that is so tough. I was really most concerned about how you said your husband was treating you. many of us can relate to not getting the support we so desperately need from our family & friends. I have struggled with it myself. Can you see yur doctor and ask what might help? I know you said your husband is against therapy, is it possible to see someone for your depression but keep it to yourself? fibromyalgia can make already difficult life stuff unbearable (I know), see if your doctor can reccommend something. tell him about your husband's resistance, maybe he/she can help. take care & let us know how you are :) Parker


Barbara - September 15

Hi, Prati. First thing: me ex-husband (note the 'ex') used to think that my fibro was all in my head. Many years later, after our divorce, he came to understand that it was for real. In fact, he came to respect me for having to cope with such a disease and maintain a strong career. In fact, he is proud of me for bearing all that I do. He and I have remained good friends and now he supports me in everything that I do, including being there in case of disasters or special need. I tell you that so you can know that there is light at the end of that particular tunnel. (to be continued)


Barbara - September 15

Prati---Continued: Second, explain to your husband that medication can help. That's what convinced my husband. My ex- is a scientist so once he saw that medication was actually making a difference, he inferred that therefore there had to have been a real illness. Third, regarding your depression: in addition to having something to be depressed about---a debilitating illness, pain, and its impact on your relationship---the illness itself (the fibro) is related to the illness of depression. Both the fibro and the depression are affected by the same centers of the brain, which is why anti-depressants can help the painof fibromyalgia. So, you may actually have bio-chemical depression, it is one of the symptoms of fibromyalgia. (to be continued again)


Barbara - September 15

Prati--Continued: Also, your life sounds like your husband may be undergoing his own form of depression. He has a lot on him and he depends on you to hold up the other end of the yoke. He needs you and he needs to be able to rely on your ability to function at full-readiness 100% of the time. He can't afford for you to be sick. Maybe in his head, he's going through all of these worries and concerns and is subsequently taking it out on you in the form of denial of your condition. Try to explain to him that the best thing for your household is for you to get back on top, back to 100% so that the two of you can keep your engines going fired up and going!! You're a team, explain to him, and what's best for one is best for both! Some good doctoring and therapy would not only ease your pain but will ease his as well (even though hsi is also in denial of suffering from the stress of his lifestyle). Aiding you may be the first step in lessening the tensions in your home all around and eventually in aiding him and lessening his burdens. Keep us posted and we wish you well!


TERESA - September 15

Prati, First of all, you probalby have explained the disease to your husband till your blue in the face! If he's like most men he isn't listening to you! If you can somehow get him to read the info on this site, it might be very helpful. However if you can't, you can still get antidepressants from a GP or a rheumatologist. That is where I get mine.


To Barbara - September 18

Hi, Barbara. Thank you very much for your sound advice. As both myself and my husband are in highly stressful professional, we may be going through our own horrors independently. Last week I did take a day off, and took alprazolam and pain killer, and i did feel a slight improvement for few hours. I intend to meet a GP in this week, and ask for a prescription of antidepressant. I am really thankful for all your support, and shall keep you posted on the developments.


JJ - September 18


I don't know if it is an option for you, but I went to part-time at work. I could not afford to quit and I have to be very careful with my money being on part time status, but it probably saved my sanity and my career. It has helped me balance my family/home commitments with work. My youngest daughter is in 8th grade. My plan is to go back on full time status when she finishes high school. My work has been very kind about this.


Barbara - September 18

Prati, I'm so pleased my advice was of some help. It may take a while to get the right 'cocktail' of medications to suit your needs. I am very lucky as I live in an area where there are a number of medical research facilities and so it has been relatively easy for me to find highly qualified and experienced medical assistance. Even so, it took a while to figure out how to balance the painkilling side effects of anti-depressants with the more direct painkillers I need. Saty away from ametryptiline (I'm sure I have misspelled it). It puts on weight like you wouldn't believe!!! Most of the anti-depressants do, so make sure you ask your MD for meds that do not have this side effect. Also, I have had wonderful success with a muscle relaxant, carbatrol (again, I'm not sure of the spelling). I also have a neurological disorder and luckily the meds for this also have a painkilling side effect. Thus, I have a baseline of neurological painkillers, anti-depressants, and finally, a direct painkiller. I share this to demonstrate that coming up with a cocktail may not be immediately successful, you have to balance all the effects and side effects along with whatever else might ail you. To assist in all this, I have a psychopharmacologist---a neurologist who specializes in balancing medications. He's wonderful. Whenever I get a new med from one of my other doctors, I go to him and he sorts out what effect the doctor intended for me and comes up with the best med to deliver that effect with the least negative side effects. It takes a LOT of management to handle our condition, but you can do it and once you do, your live will be unbelievably improved!!!



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