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New with fibromyalgia
5 Replies
libra13 - January 16

i was just diagnosised with fibro. in Sept. 10. My family and I are trying to adust to this. Prior to this 4 years ago I was Diagnosised with Bipolar II. Another difficult adjustment. Two years ago I was diagnosised with osteoarthritis. So here is the problem... My husband who has RA and Crohn's is very stoic, asks me if there is ever a day that I don't ever have pain. I told him no. He was sarcastic like and acted like he did not believe me. I am not at theurputic range for Lyrica yet due to how tired I get with my Bipolar meds so I need to go slow with the increase of that medication. Any one ever have this converstion with their family? Any suggestions? I am at the point I don't wnat to discuss my medical issue with my husband but that is NOT how we dealth with issues int he past.


Fantod - January 16

libra13 - Welcome to the board. Your situation is very common among people with Fibromyalgia (FMS).

Pain is subjective. For people, if they can not see it than it must not exist. Fibromyalgia is recognised by the National Arthitis Foundation, the Centers for Disease Control and the World Health Organization.

Go on the National Arthitis Foundation website. Use the "search" function to find the information on Fibromyalgia. You can send people a link and save this site for your own use.

You and your husband have a lot to deal with. I would like to gently suggest that you consider joint counseling to work on the problems surrounding your health issues.

You can also go on Amazon and order "Fibromyalgia for Dummies." Like all of the dummies series, it contains good basic information. Read it yourself and pass along to your spouse, friends and other family. Knowledge is power.

Also, there is a lot of good information in the blue boxes on the lefthand side of this page. You should take some time to read through all of them. Keep in touch and take care.


mdak - February 19

libra13- I was reading your message. My husband at first had a hard time understanding my pain and fatique. He would get so frustrated at tims. He has been through a lot with me. He now comes to my dr. visit and counseling at times. They let him know what to expect from this disease. How he could help me. Ever since I had some testing done and the dr. called him in the office. He has changed and accepting it more. He seems more understanding. Try taking to your Dr and see if they can talk to him. I just found out something new for me on FM and I told my husbnd he needs to read it. It was on fatigue and how we have no energy when it comes down to sex. At least I dont. I got some ideas that may improve my sexual life with him. It's very important in our marriage I have learned with him. I think If you clam up and say you dont undertand, gets you in trouble. It makes you feel like nobody cares and causes depresssion. I have been there. I hope things work out.


January - March 4

Maybe you could have him read a little about how people perceive pain signals differently.

The recent issue of Time Magazine talks about pain and has some information about how some people just are more sensitive to pain. It's the way your body is made.

I'd also recommend googling Elaine Aron who is a therapist who studies HSPs - Highly Sensitive Persons. In her book, The Highly Sensitive Person, she has a lot of information about how differently an HSP processes pain - that is to say, we FEEL it a lot more than an "normal" person does. She has some great sample letters to take to doctors explaining this. Maybe your husband would get a better understanding if he read some studies like this.

I was highly sensitive to pain even as a child (and I was pretty stoic about it) - but nobody believed me when I complained about things being unbearable - and for me, some things were. That left me with PTSD. I hope the Time article and Aron's book can at least give you a starting point. People need to understand that the way they feel pain is completely individual, dependent on their body's anatomy and physiology. No two people are alike. If you hurt, it's REAL to YOU.

Wishing you luck. I hope by now you are balancing the meds better and getting used to the side effects. And hope your husband is listening better! You need the support.


vavaughn - April 12

libra13 - An excellent resource for fibro and many of the related illnesses we have is, prohealth(dot)com. There is a whole section on the fibromyalgia message board on explaining FM -- some very, very good explanations.

I know how struggling with acceptance feels. Once you gain acceptance the rest becomes a little clearer. Best of luck with your husband and keep posting here, it helps!


Just Jo - August 26

I agree totally with Fantod. Get him to counseling with or without you. He needs to understand that you do not deal with pain the way he does. Your pains are different. He sounds like the type that needs to hear it from someone other than yourself. Best of luck and hang in there.



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