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yes, i am angry!
2 Replies
conniehurts - March 26

I went to my "doctor" today. She had an office person in the room because i had gotten upset, used a couple of bad words and cried the last time when she told me that i would have to cold turkey off pain meds that i have been on for 10 years!! Oh, I also refused to see a psychologist since i do not feel that seeing one is in my best interest. My pain isnt in my head (other than the daily migraines i had before being put on fentanyl and dilaudid) and i am NOT DEPRESSED! I do get anxious when i cant swallow which makes me feel like i cant breathe, but who wouldnt. It seems that i am GOING to die from taking xanax with my pain meds, especially since i am a smoker. If that is the case why am i not already dead after 10 years on these medications? She wants rid of me because chronic pain/fibromyalgia isnt easy to treat. Its very simple in my mind, a previous doctor (who since left the area) and i found what works for me, what gives me some quality of life so just keep me on it. Simple to my way of thinking! See me every 3 months, collect her $150 payment, write 3 scipts for each medication and send me on my way. Simple!
Since the gods of the CDC have come out with their guidelines on pain medication saying they do not help with chronic pain (interesting they help me!) it is harder than ever to find a doctor who is willing to actually be a doctor and to use what means that work! I live in Fairbanks Alaska where there are very few doctors who will even see you for a sore throat if you have Fibromyalgia. I have spent the last 2 weeks trying to find a new family practice doctor as well as a pain specialist. No luck on family practice, they dont take patients with fibro, and am going to have to go to Anchorage (traveling 8 plus hours one way is so terribly painful but do they give a rip? NO!) to maybe find a doctor who will either keep me on my meds or help me properly titrate them down to where i can safely quit taking them. The 5 pain centers in town refuse to take because i am on pain meds.
Why is it that someone with pain is an evil being and sick in the head? I have tried many, many other modalities prior to opiate pain meds with no success! I wish with every cell in my body that the doctors who think this way someday get to be in my position of being unable to even get out of bed to go potty by myself without pain meds and have no end in sight and no treatment that works!! I am trying to wean myself down on my painmeds, my pain level is going up andi can only go so far with that as you cant cut Fentanyl patches. I have been so looking for summer when on a good day i could ride my therapy horse for 5 or 10 minutes and now look forward to a living hell! WHY? This isnt right!!! I truly hate the medical profession bvut especially thos gods of the cdc who havent got a friggen clue!!


jmac - April 19

sorry you're so upset. I also know how frustrating some docs can be. I'm sorry you're going through this with the pain meds. I'm not sure what that is like because I've never been on any pain meds for the fibro, only for the migraines i get. I use to be on xanax too but doc took me off of them. Not sure why since I took them "as needed" instead of daily, and probably only a couple times a month to help me with situations that would bring on PTSD anxiety. I guess that is another med that is being nixed by the CDC.? I know a lot of fibro suffers have found relief with neurontin. I took it in the past and it really helped the pain, unfortunately for me i couldn't stay on it long because it made my fatigue worse. Everyone is different so you should maybe give it a try, and most docs don't have a problem prescribing it.
Again, i'm sorry you are upset, it goes with the territory of fibro. Hang in there.


conniehurts - April 21

Thank you jmac. I used to have DAILY migraines and havent had a one since i have been on fentanyl. Kinda got a 2 for 1 pain relief. I cannot take neurontin, lyrica, cimbalta, or any or the on or off label meds approved for fibro. I have terrible side effects some of which havent gone away years after taking them. I too was taking xanax only as needed which was usually about one a week. It makes me want to laugh when i think of the dangerous drugs that doctors are so willing to hand out and they wont give opiates which are relatively safe in comparison. Its so stupid. I asked my pharmacist how i could safely titrate of my meds using what i have on hand and he called my doctor! I dont know what he said to her but she changed her tune fast! Within the hour they were calling me to come in asap and she is now willing to titrate my meds properly. I will still end up in severe pain with no relief but at least wont have to go thru the dangers and horrors of going off cold turkey! I am trying cannibus oil (CBD oil) and smoking a little marijuana to see how it helps with pain. At this point i can take just 3 hits and get some relief. Not sure when i am off the other stuff. I DO NOT want to be high so even tho its legal for "recreational" use in my state i dont really want to go that route. I will do what i have to do to survive. The cdb with tryptophan has definately helped with sleep, getting 2-4 hours instead of 1-2 at a time.
I do hope you are having a low pain period. Gentle hugs (((hugs))) Connie



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